am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
