we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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