On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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