I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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