its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
