420 ftw
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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