you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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