Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Houston, we have a squirter
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
