Pappa wants mamma naked
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
