You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
