Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize