we're blogging at a bar
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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