so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize