It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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