Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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