called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
