I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
