Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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