I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
