so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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