If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
