:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
