Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
this boner is exhausting
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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