Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
