The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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