i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Drake has all the answers
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize