4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
