you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
