im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
