you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
