I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
