porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
