Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
