I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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