...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How does one acquire holy water?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
