I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
