Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
