I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
