So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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