wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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