She said her name was "party"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
