i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
