Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
