Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
