so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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