Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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