i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
