So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
