your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
