I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
