plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
