so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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