Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize