I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
