whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
