i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
