Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
