ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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