Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
