Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
