Your face is a jimmy john
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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